A Promise not Kept
by kiwisplasj
Summary: This is sort of a tag to "Dark side of the Moon". It tells the story of what happened when Sam ran away to Flagstaff. A   Wee!chester story in other words.
1. A Promise not Kept

This is a tag to Dark side of the Moon. Did it for a contest so had to stick to some basic rules. The contest was that we were to make a story about the time when Sam ran away to Flagstaff. As they never mentioned at what time this happen I made Sam into 10 year old boy, turning 11 in November. And as it take past in the beginning of spring Dean has already turned 15.

Hope you like ;)

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A Promise not Kept

Sam had turned grumpy as soon as dad had left. Honestly, Dean didn't understand why. It wasn't like Sam wanted to go with on the hunt. Most of the time all they did was fight anyway. Still, he knew if he didn't ward of Sam's bad temper early on it would just escalate, making the next couple of weeks a living hell. So he had devised the cunning plan to treat Sam to a great evening of fun, hopefully deflating the pout at an early stage.

After bringing Sam home from school he had gone out to stock up on Sam's favourite food and snacks along with renting some of Sam's favourite movies. Sure he often found them lame and a bit too much on the chick-flick side, but he wouldn't really be paying attention to them anyway. His eyes would instead be riveted by the beaming bundle that was his little brother who practically glowed with delight whenever they did something that he loved. Tonight would be no different, so the movie choice was irrelevant to him as long as it procured a happy Sammy.

So here he was, heading home, arms laden with delicious food and several movies, prepared to give Sam an evening to remember. He couldn't wait to see his kid brother's reaction.

He put the bags down in the sofa, laying everything out on the small rickety table in front of the TV. It wasn't a big TV and it didn't have any channels, but as long as they had a working VHS player, none of the other stuff mattered. "_There"_ he thought as he finished decking the , he called out for Sam to join him in the sparse living room. No answer. He figured he was in the bathroom so he sat down to wait.

Ten minutes later, and still no Sammy. Dean was getting antsy. _What was taking his brother so friggin long? Could something be wrong?_

The slight flicker of fear in his chest was enough to propel him over to the bathroom door, his hand giving a light tap before calling out to his brother once more. Nothing.

Dean tried the door handle, it opened easily. But to his surprise the bathroom was dark, and worse, empty. The slight hint of fear bloomed into full fledged panic. Sam was gone! All kinds of horrid images assaulted him. Sam being kidnapped, taken by monsters, or worse killed! He needed to find Sam, and fast!

He made quick work of checking the apartment, but there was no sign of Sam. He was on the verge of hyperventilating, the fear for his sibling steadily growing for every minute that ticked by. This wasn't working. He had to get a grip on himself. Sam could be in real trouble and here he was panicking which of course wasn't helping Sam at all. Focusing on taking deep breaths he managed to slow his racing pulse down. He needed to think reasonable rationally, not panic if he were to make any headway on this.

He took in the room once more. There were no signs of a struggle or a forced entry. As Sam was smart enough to not just let anybody in, that put the human kidnapping scenario towards the bottom of likely alternatives.

Looking for creature activity he came up blank again. There were no signs of sulphur, spirit activity or any other creature activity for that matter. And the fact that there was no sign of a fight also told him that it most likely wasn't a creature. And if it were it would have had to have been stealthy as hell if it had managed to sneak up on Sam. Sam might not yet have perfectly honed senses, but he was no slow pock, that was for sure.

_Maybe he had just gone for a walk?_

He looked around for a note, but found none. That in itself wasn't all that unusual as Sam often forget to write one, his mind too preoccupied with friends and other stuff. _Could this be what had happened this time also?_ He looked for Sam's shoes and jacket, they were gone. It seemed Sam had just gone out for a bit with friends, everything was all right after all, had to be it. Still, something felt off, not quite sure he decided to comb the apartment once more.

The only other thing he managed to uncover was that Sam's duffle was gone, along with some of his clothes. He didn't quite know what to make of it. Sam usually never took such stuff with him. But then again maybe he was sleeping over at a friend and just forgot to tell him about Sam wouldn't just pick up and leave, not like this. Even dad wouldn't do that to him. Had to be the first one. Sam might even have told dad earlier, just forgot to mention it to him as well. Must have been what had happened. .

But no matter how hard he tried convincing himself that everything was all right, the niggling fear in the back of his mind wouldn't go away. The ever present panic simmering just beneath the surface. He hoped he was just overreacting and that Sam would walk through the door any minute now. Having nowhere else to turn he sat down facing the door, intent on waiting till Sam returned. His heart jumping at every sound, hoping it was Sam returning home.

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Another chapter around the corner if you're still interested :)


	2. Freedom

As this is a tag, I tried to keep the story close up to what was said in the series. So if anyone thinks I'm being a bit harsh with Sam, I apologize, but as he said in the series, he never realized the effect his running would have on Dean. So I felt I had to make him a bit young and naive, not yet quite understanding how his actions can have a impact on the ones around it, especially not on his superhero brother. But still managed to squish in a brotherly moment later on.

Enjoy!

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Sam was thrilled, both the adrenaline and the rush of freedom propelling his legs to move ever faster down the streets. He needed to get away from it all. Away form hunting, away from arguing, away form dad, just away.

Dean was the one highlight in his life, but God, even he could be a major pain sometimes, especially when he played dad. He was only four years younger for crying out loud, he didn't need his big brother to babysit him anymore, he could take care of himself. But apparently neither dad nor Dean thought that with their constant vigilance and tight leash on him. He was going to show Dean he was perfectly able to care for himself. Sure he had taken some money from his brother, but he wouldn't mind. He might not even notice it as he usually just gave it all to dad anyway.

Besides, a break from each other would be good for them. They had been cramped up together way too much recently, and never being able to get a moments peace was really getting on his nerves, causing him to lash out at his big brother. So surely Dean wouldn't mind some time on his own, might even relish it. This would also give his sibling time to hang out with his own friends, no longer forced to being cooped up in the house watching over him or being forced to drag him along everywhere. Surely Dean wouldn't mind. If his brother hadn't been such a stickler when it came to following dad's orders he would probably just have asked him in the first place. But he knew his brother would never go against an order from dad, God forbid. So running away had been his only option to get away without Dean tagging along.

Either way, it wasn't like he was going to be gone long, just a week or something. He would be back before dad returned, cause if he found out there would be no end to it. Not only would he yell at him and probably ground him for the rest of his life, he would also punish Dean. And knowing Dean, he would as always take the punishment gladly, like the good little soldier he was even though he hadn't done anything wrong. No, neither of them needed that on their heads.

He had been planning this little getaway for over two weeks, ever since he heard about dads hunting trip. By the sound of it there was no way in hell they would be allowed to go with him, not that he wanted to anyway, so he knew they were going to be stuck alone for quite some time. Not having the ever watchful eye of his father, just his trusting brother, made it much easier both to get away.

He had silently gathered all the stuff he needed and hidden it away in his room, Dean hadn't even noticed. But as his brother had both walked him to and from school his original plan to runaway unnoticed as the school day started had gone down the drain. Frustrated that his plan had been foiled, he had been even more moody then usual. This time lashing out at Dean on purpose, hoping to get him to give him some space. It seemed to have worked as Dean soon after had announced that he was going out to fetch them something to eat.

Seeing his chance, he had bolted almost as soon as Dean had rounded the corner. He would get his freedom this time around, no doubt about it.

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Clik the next button for more...


	3. Realizations

As the sun rose, Dean's eyes were still glued to the door. He was almost surprised he hadn't burned two holes in it with the amount of staring he had done that night. Who knew a door could be so fascinating. The feast and movies had been left untouched, forgotten. His thoughts only on Sam. His body was tired and stiff from the constant tension, but he never noticed. To lost in his own world of nightmares. His starring contest with the door was ultimately interrupted by the shrill sound of the alarm clock going of in the bedroom.

Dean jumped up at the sound._ That was it!_ Even if Sam had gone to a sleepover, he would never miss school. Hell that kid lived for it. He would just pop by his little brother's school before going to his own. Problem solved!

Dean jogged down to the school, well before the first bell would ring to make sure Sam doesn't enter without him seeing. Satisfied, he flopped down on the first bench with a clear view to the school entrance.

Kids soon started gushing in the doors. A continuous flow of mainly tired kids went through, but no Sammy. And by the time the last kid went through, Dean's heart was back in his throat, beating wildly. He had managed to spot all of Sam's friends, but none of them had a small floppy haired little brother with them.

He got up and walked into the school, going straight to Sam's classroom. He needed to be sure Sam hadn't passed him. He paused by the door, the sight of Sam's empty desk only solidifying Sam's disappearance. He rapped lightly on the door to call the teachers attention. As soon as she noticed him, she excused herself from the class.

"Hi, Mrs. Lieberman. I'm Dean, Sam's brother. He called me and asked me to come pick him up as he was feeling ill. Is he here?" Dean lied easily, knowing saying that his brother was missing would only elicit child service investigations and trouble. Something none of them needed at the moment.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope the poor little boy feels better soon. He will surely be missed in class. He hasn't been in to see me today, but if he was feeling ill he might have gone to he school nurse. Her office is just down the hall."

"Thanks, I'll check," Dean said flatly, his concerns already elsewhere as he turned and left.

Still, he checked around with Sam's other teachers, even the school nurse, to make sure he didn't miss something. But they were as clueless to Sam's whereabouts as he was. Sam would often confide in teachers and stuff like that, but apparently not this time around. That left Sam's friends. Surely he must have said something to them.

He waited for them on the footsteps of the school, figuring recess was the best time to talk to them without raising any queries from the teachers to why he was still here and not at home with a sick Sam.

Lost in thought Dean started as the bell rang. _Recess, finally._ Launching into action, he quickly spotted his queries. But unfortunately he wasn't having any more luck this time around then the last. None of the kids knew where he was, certainly not at a sleepover. For once in his life Sam had apparently been tight-lipped. His friends not even knowing where Sam might have wanted to go.

As a teacher started to exit the door, he figured it was time to bolt, not wanting to get their attention to his predicament. A call to child services or the police, or even worse their dad, was defiantly something he wanted to avoid. Usually he was able to charm or lie his way out of any tricky situation, but with Sam missing his heart just wasn't in it. Besides, he was pretty sure his calm façade was started to slip away, his true fear shining through. Certainly not something that gave anyone a better impression of him or their family. Dad was already disliked by the school, he didn't need to be too. It wasn't like he was getting anywhere with Sam's friends anyhow.

He started walking back home, a last ditch hope of Sam being there waiting for him when he walked in the door. Without anything better to do he started to mull over the possibly scenarios for Sam's disappearance again. The kidnapping and monster scenarios still seemed ludicrous to him, but Sam surely wouldn't just have picked up and left. He wouldn't do that to him… would he?

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The apartment had been as empty as Dean had left it. Heartbroken and panicked he had taken his rage out on the apartment. It was now utterly thrashed. About the only thing left standing was the table with food and movies. He couldn't even bear to go near it. Instead he had scoured every inch of the apartment for clues to Sam's whereabouts.

In addition to Sam's jacket, shoes and backpack he had noticed that half of his own stash of money was gone, along with some food from the fridge. He had also taken note that some of Sam's favourite clothes, books and other personal stuff was missing. It could only mean one thing, Sam had left on his own accord. No other person would have known just what Sam liked. And if someone had forced his brother's hand he would no doubt have found a way to notify him that he was in trouble. No, it had been by choice. Something that in one way was even worse.

Sure, Sam wasn't in any immediate danger, which was good, but instead he had just walked out in him. On him! How could his little brother do this to him? Didn't he know how much he meant to him? If something were to happen to his brother out there, how could he ever forgive himself? The ache in his heart that he had managed to suppress as long as he thought Sam hadn't left, was now a festering wound. Leaking pain and heartache constantly now that he realised that Sam had just walked out on him. A single tear fell unnoticed down his chin.

In truth he was mad as hell at the kid, but mostly he feared for him. He knew Sam generally was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but still, without his big brother or dad to watch his back he was much more likely to get hurt or in trouble. Sam could often be naive, not always seeing people's true intentions. Sometimes to the point Dean almost regretted sheltering him from most of the true horrors of life, both in the hunt and in real life. But what was done was done. Now he just really needed to find his baby brother, before anything bad happened to him.

Dean considered for a brief second calling their Dad for help. But what good would it really do? Sure, Sam deserved to be scolded, but dad would never let it go, only leading to even more endless fights. No, he would keep quiet for now, sheltering Sam from dad's wrath as long as possible, hoping he himself would be able to locate Sam soon and bring him home before dad noticed what had happened.

Now he just needed to think like Sam, and it should be a breeze to find him. After all who knew the kid better then him? If he was Sam and had run away, the first thing he would have done was split town, the risk of being recognised too high in this town. Another clue was the money. Sam had taken half of his stash, but still, it wasn't all that much. That meant that the cash wouldn't keep him afloat for all that long, so unless he found a pot of gold Sam would have gone for the cheapest route, which equalled buss travel.

Dean headed for the buss station, not even bothering with locking the door behind him, the place too thrashed to care. Down at the bus station he encountered the first hitch. As they were staying in a relatively large city that again meant a large amount of bus routes Sam could have chosen from. He needed to narrow it down, and fast. He had already given Sam too big a head start with waiting around for him for one night and half a day.

He looked at the timeframe. Sam had left somewhere around six o' clock. And if he knew Sam right he would have taken the first bus available to get furthest away quickest possible. Unfortunately five routes fitted that time schedule.

Luckily the three of the routes were clearly too pricey for Sam to have taken them as he was sure the kid wouldn't blow all his money on bus fare. That left two, Flagstaff and Wickenburg. But which one did Sam chose? None of them more likely than the other. Uncertain he picked a location at random as Sam most likely had done. He just hoped he had guessed right, Sam usually the better one in that department.

Now the only problem was how to get there. He could take the bus, but it would be smarter to save the money. After all he might need it for when he found Sam, no telling what kind of the trouble the kid might have gotten himself into. A quick look around revealed a plan.

The parking lot had several cars, some parked on the long term parking. Dean strolled casually along the cars, looking for easy break-ins. A blue ford pick up had a partially open window, practically begging to be taken. Dean leaned on the car, acting as if he owned it. He managed to sneak most of his arm into the window frame. He then pressed down hard, causing the window to jerk downwards. It was just enough for him to get his arm in and unlock the car. He hoped the owner wouldn't be too mad about him borrowing the car.

He got in quickly and scanned the parking lot. Luckily no one seemed to have taken notice to his little break-in act. With trained skill he easily unhooked the lower panel on the steering and grabbed the wires within. Hotwiring, taught to him years ago by his father along with driving. He had never appreciated it as much as now when the car flickered to life under his skilled hands. He was on his way.

After hours of driving he finally arrived at Wickenburg, the sun rising in the east. He moved to get out of the car, but a dizzy spell overtook him. He flopped back down on the seat, his hand shooting to his head in a vain hope to get the world to stop spinning. That's when he realized ha had been going without sleep and food for over 48 hours. _"Defiantly not a good idea"_ he scolded himself.

He had been running on pure adrenaline and fear since he left Prescott and as always, when it first vanished, he crashed, hard. His body feeling like it had been run over by rhinoceros, repeatedly. No matter how much he hated it he had to get some rest, his body no good when he couldn't even walk straight, let alone think straight. Honestly he was surprised he had managed to get to Wickenburg before his body conked out on him.

His head stilling he closed the car door again. He would lie down in the car and rest for a few hours, the food would have to wait till the morning. He dragged his feet close and curled up in the seat. It wasn't the safe comfort of the Impala, but it had a bench seat, making sleep at least manageable.

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TBC...


	4. Friends and Needs

Sam arrived in Flagstaff as the sun set. The last rays of town illuminated the town, creating an almost magical atmosphere. Sam couldn't help but feel like he was part of a Disney film. Delighted at his new freedom he was walking on clouds. Why hadn't he thought of this before? He hadn't done any research on the town as he had picked it at random. So here he was, all alone in a random town, and he couldn't be happier. Having no clue about what to do, he set about wondering the streets, exploring this fairy tale town.

A couple of hours later the darkness of night had descended over the town. The streets were almost empty, people staying inside as they knew the chill of the night was coming. The last tendrils of winters clinging on before spring arrived. But Sam was too busy to notice any of his, the joy of exploring fuelled him ever onwards. His wanderings were at last interrupted as the smell of pizza wafted past him, his growling stomach bringing him back to the real world.

He was hungry, not having eaten since he left the apartment. As he checked himself he also noted he was cold, the darkness of night-time bringing the cold along with it.

_Dammit!_ He really should have taken his warmer jacket. How could he not remember that even though the days were warm, the nights still bore hints of ice? Most likely cause Dean never allowed him to freeze, packing him in the warmest clothes in existence, causing him to almost melt away instead. But right now, that actually wouldn't be so bad as the chill made it's way into his bones.

He needed to find shelter, somewhere to hole up for the harsh night. He hadn't really given it much thought earlier, always used to his brother taking care of all of his needs even before he had them. Now though, he was on his own. As he didn't have the money for a hotel he started looking for possible places to crash, food relegated to second place at the moment.

Suddenly he felt something large hit him in the middle of his back, the unexpected weight sending him crashing to the ground. Instinct took over and he rolled with the momentum of the fall, allowing him to gain his feet quickly. He spun on the balls of his feet, ready to face the attacker head on. His body already in a fighting stance he braced himself for what was to come. Secretly he whished Dean was here to have his back._ Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all?_

As he laid eyes on his attacker, he paused. His attacker wasn't some crazy knife wielding loon or a monster of the dark, but a dog, not even fully grown yet. It almost seemed playful as it skirted about him, as if the whole thing had been a game of tag. It was even wagging it's tail!

It was thin, it's fur mangy. Unsure of what to do Sam uncurled form his fighting stance, instead beckoning the dog over to him. "Hey boy, you alone too? Come here boy, I won't hurt you."

But the dog remained in it's place, uncertain of how to react towards this sudden turn of events. It was used to people chasing him away and yelling at him, this was something new. There was a memory of something similar from way back, but it was overshadowed by the more recent ones. So he remained stationary, studying the situation from afar.

Seeing the still wary dog Sam decided maybe some food would help the dog trust him. He brought out two slices of sausage he had pilfered from the fridge back home. He threw one over to the dog, careful not to spook it. The dog launched itself at it, the sausage gone before it even hit the ground.

"Hungry there boy, I've got some more here," Sam said, his tone placating, while holding his hand out with the other sausage. The dog seemed to have forgotten all sense of wariness as he looped towards Sam, happily snatching the sausage from Sam's hand. "Good boy!" Sam laughed as he scratched the dog behind its ear. The fur felt soft and warm under his hand, a welcome reprieve from the cold night, but he could still feel the bones sticking out. The dog was obviously malnourished. No wonder it had been so ravenous.

As he stood up from his crouch, the dog followed, jumping and looping around him in circles. He laughed again, apparently he had made a friend. He considered it for a moment. He had never had a pet, let alone a dog. The dog could also offer him some protection and company.

He had always wanted a dog, and what better time then now? The dog already liked him and he needed someone to take care of him. His mind decided he turned towards the dog. "What do you say boy, wanna come with me?" the dog yipped happily. "But if you are coming with me you need a name, can't just keep calling you dog. What do you say to being called Bones? After all, you are a little skinny at the moment," he smiled. The dog seemed to approve with a joyful bark.

The delicious smell of pizza reached Sam's nose again, setting his growling stomach off once more. "Guess it isn't just you who is hungry. What do you say Bones, want some pizza for evening snack?" In answer Bones started to trot towards the pizza place on the other side of the street. "Guess that's settled then" Sam said and jogged over to join Bones

It felt good to have a companion. Sure he had set out to get his freedom, and he loved it. But to have someone to share it with was even better. He had missed having someone to talk. Sure, Bones couldn't answer, but he was attentive, listening to every word he said. It almost seemed like the dog understood him. Sometimes it was even better than talking to another human as a dog couldn't rat you out or yell at you. You could tell it your deepest darkest secrets, and they would still be safe. But not all the time though. At certain points he wished Dean was here to share it with him.

After devouring the large pizza with the dog on the sidewalk he could really start to feel the chill setting in. Sure it wasn1t exactly winter, but still it would get too could to stay outside for the night. He needed shelter. He turned towards the happily munching dog next to him "What do you say friend, about time we found us a home for the night?"

At the sound of home Bones leaped up and started to trot away. "Does he have a home after all?" Sam wondered. But the dog didn't go far, instead it turned back around and barked at him, clearly indicating for him to follow. "Maybe I gave you the wrong name, maybe I rather should have called you Lassie," Sam joked while petting the dog.

Bones led them to a trailer, secreted away in the forest. It was surrounded by trees, some of the branched almost seemed to enclose around it. From the outside it clearly looked abandoned, and for some time too. The trailer itself was even older, probably left behind ages ago. There were also some old toys lying around on the ground, ruined by rain and snow. Sam figured the previous owners of Bones might have lived here. then abandoned it along with Bones.

He rapped lightly on the door. No answer. That was a good sign. He tried the handle, the door slid open. The inside was similar to the outside. It was messy and random stuff lay strewn around. But if you cleaned it up a bit it could actually turn out pretty decent. From what it looked like it even had a couch to crash on. This was way better then Sam had ever hoped. He would actually have a home, a small place of his own to stay during his adventure. All thanks to Bones. "You know boy, I was wrong earlier. You are way better then Lassie," he said as he hugged the dog happily.

Sam made quick work of the mess, showing it all in a corner, intent on doing a more thorough job tomorrow. But right now he was tired, the sofa to inviting to deny. The old worn sofa was surprisingly comfortable, his body sinking into the soft cushions. Another great example of how appearances could be deceiving. Bones jumped up and curled up beside him, showering him in warmth. Sam hugged him close and fell into a deep and restful sleep.

* * *

TBC...


	5. Wrong Turn

Dean's sleep was on the other far from content. After the first couple of hours the exhaustion had worn of, barring the way for nightmares to enter Dean's mind. Nightmare after nightmare haunted him. All filled with horrid scenarios of Sam, hurt, in trouble or worse, dead. As yet another dream played out behind his closed lids of Sam dying he finally managed to break free of their hold and awaken.

He woke with a start, Sam's name on his lip. His body wet with perspiration, even in the chilled air in the car. He fought through the delirium, gathered his thoughts, eventually remembering what had happened and where he was.

"_Thank God, it was just dreams, Sam's not dead, he can't be. Please let him be all right, please, please" _he prayed. But he knew it was no use, no one was listening up there anyway. No, if he wanted to keep Sam safe, he needed to find him. Knowing there wouldn't be anymore sleep for him this night he pulled out a map of the town and started searching for his lost brother.

He spent five days combing Wickenburg, but ended up empty. Not even a hint that Sam had ever been here. At one point he thought he had found someone that had seen him, but it turned out to be another floppy-haired kid. By the end of the week he felt he was inhabiting a body of a ninety year old, his body failing him more and more for every day that went by. He knew he should eat and sleep more then he did. But food wouldn't stay down, and sleep peaceful sleep wouldn't come, nightmares haunting him constantly. So the only thing he could do was search for Sam, his worry the only thing keeping him moving, not allowing him to give up.

Eventually it became apparent he had to have made a wrong turn. At least he hoped so. Cause if Sam wasn't in Flagstaff there were only a few options left, none of them attractive.

Firstly, he was a lousy tracker and would have to call dad for help to find his kid brother. Secondly, Sam could have run away for good, something that tore Dean's heart to shreds just thinking about it. Finally, the third option, Sam couldn't be found as he didn't exist anymore, his body rotting away somewhere out there. Just the thought alone made him wither inside.

Cause without Sam there was no reason for being. Sam was his purpose, his brother, his whole life. A dead Sam equalled a dead Dean, it was as easy as that. But as long as there was a chance of finding Sam, he would struggle on. Hoping in vain that Sam would be waiting for him around every street corner, but he never was.

Decided he pushed the old Ford towards Flagstaff, his last hope, praying, for what seemed like the millionth time that he'd find Sam safe and sound there. If only someone would listen…

* * *

A bit short, but the next ones a whopper ;)


	6. Finding out

And enter John...

(And for all of you who hates John, you're not going to like this story. In my eyes he actually was a good guy, caring for his children, just unable to act on it. So that's how I'm writing it.)

* * *

One and a half week after Sam disappeared, half a week before it should have happened, Dad called.

Dean froze, phone in hand. He didn't want to answer, didn't want to have to explain yet another failure to his dad, but what choice did he really have? Sam had been missing for one and a half week, and he was slowly running out of leads to check. Sure someone had thought they had seen him here at least, but no one was sure if it really had been Sam. And as none of them had had a clue of his that was a dead end too. The sightings were random at best, no particular area that indicated where he might be.

And now dad was home, most likely wondering where his two kids were. And here he was, about to crush his father. He answered.

Before he could even utter a word he was bombarded by a rush of questions from his father's frantic voice: "Dean! Where are you? Are you all right? Are you hurt? What did this? Dean, talk to me! Please!"

The pleading tone in his father's voice seemed unfamiliar. _Was this really his father, or had something gone wrong?_ "Dad?" he asked tentatively, not understanding his father's fear. _Was he already aware of what had happened? But if so, why was he worried about him?_

"Dean, son, thank God, are you okay? Did anyone take you?"

Understanding suddenly slammed into Dean. He had left the room in a complete mess, not even bothering locking he door. Off course his father would jump to the worst conclusions possible from the chaos he saw before him. Surely anyone would have with the mess Dean had made. "I'm fine," he answered softly.

"Oh thank God," John breathed out in relief "but where are you boys? And what did this to the room?"

Dean swallowed. Apparently dad hadn't picked up on the fact that he was no longer talking in twosomes, but as a single.

"Dean, what creature did this?"

"I…I… did it," Dean stuttered into the phone, preparing for the onslaught that would inevitable come.

"You did what?" incomprehension clear from his voice.

"The room, I thrashed it."

"You did?"

"Yeah…"

John didn't understand any of this. One moment he had been happy, returning early from what turned out to be an easy hunt, the next moment he had been griped by fear as he saw the state of the room and no sign of his two sons. And Dean was being more cryptic than and oracle. He needed answers, starting with the obvious. "Why did you destroy the room?"

Silence the only thing that met him on the other end.

The feeling of danger took over again, fearing his son had been taking after all and wasn't free to speak. "Dean, sure you are okay?" he pleaded.

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry for what? Ruining the room? Don't think about it, just tell me what's going on."

Once more silence was the only answer Dean had. He tried to answer, but it was as if the words wouldn't leave his mouth. Telling his dad would somehow make this whole nightmare real.

At the other end he could hear his father's intake of breath, signalling the moment when his fear turned to anger. He steeled himself.

"Tell me, NOW!" John ordered.

Never able to deny an order, Dean's walls burst.

"Sam's missing," he sobbed into the phone. "He…he ran away. I was looking for clues…" He never got to finish.

"Sam's missing? For whole long?"

"One and a half week…" Dean almost whispered.

"And you didn't call me?" John shouted, rage simmering through every syllable.

"I thought I could find him myself"

"And have you?"

"No…"

He couldn't believe this. How could his son be this reckless? First losing Sam and then not calling him? He had been too soft on the kid. "Of all the stupid things you have done, this tops it by a mile! Not only did you let your brother get the drop on you, but then you failed to call me. And to add injury to insult you also managed to not find him, only leaving an utter mess behind. I'm almost ashamed to call you my son! How do you expect me to trust you when you can't even keep an eye on your own little brother?"

Dean couldn't help but let another sob escape him at his father's harsh words. But still, they were true. How was he supposed to keep Sam safe or hunt when he could even manage to find his runaway brother? He was a disgrace to everyone around him. He most of all wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear, but he couldn't, not until Sam was safe and sound. Then he would take all the punishment his father could dish out, no matter what it was. It didn't really matter, just as long as his father allowed him to stay in the family.

His thoughts were interrupted by his father's angry voice: "Dean, get your ass back to the hotel straight away!"

"I can't."

"Why? Do you need me to come get you? Are you in trouble after all?" a hint of fear once more snaked its way back into his voice

"No' it's just…"

"It's just what?"

"I'm in Flagstaff"

"Flagstaff! But that's hours away! Why the hell are you there?"

"I know, but I think Sam's here somewhere" Dean said, letting a small hint of hope taint his words.

Realizing his son usually was right when it came to Sam, John caved. "Fine! Just stay put, I'll come to you."

"Oke…" but the call ended before he could even finish the sentence.

He was alone again.

* * *

Five hours later the Impale screeched to halt in front of the old Ford truck. Dean's heart skipped a beat, dad was here. He didn't know weather he was more scared or relived that their dad had finally arrived. On the one hand he knew that this would spell endless punishment for him and his brother, but on the other hand Dad would fix everything. He would find Sam. His belief in his father's skills never wavering. But first, the storm.

Before he could even exit the car John had stalked over to it and proceeded to almost tear the door of its hinges. He stayed in the car, unwilling to meet his father's gaze, afraid of what it might contain.

John towered above him. "How could you let this happen? How could you be so stupid? I trusted you to look after him, but seems I can't trust you with anything lately, least of all Sam. Didn't the Striga incident teach you anything?"

He flinched at the memory, images of Sam and the Striga assaulting him. Remembering how he was almost to blame for losing Sam just cause he wanted some alone time he struggled to keep the tears at bay.

At the lack of response, John grabbed his jacket and tore him from the car. The sudden movement surprised Dean, both in speed and strength, sending him crashing to the ground as soon as his father let go, the movement to fast for him to get his legs underneath him. He scrubbed his hands on the gravel, barely managing to avoid a full face plant. He stayed down, the sudden change in height making him dizzy.

"What? You think you can hide from me by digging yourself into the ground? Get up and face me, kid!" John shouted as shoved Dean.

He started to rise at John's words, but the small push made him lose his bearings, sending him sprawling to the ground for the second time in under half a minute. His body, exhausted by both starvation and sleep depravation, had finally given in, refusing to obey him any more.

"I said get up!" John yelled as he reached down and dragged Dean to his feet before slamming him against the car.

He felt his head impact hard with the wall, ears ringing, black spots appearing before his eyes. His dad's hands the only thing keeping him from falling down a third time.

"I said look at me when I'm talking to you boy!"

But he couldn't, to afraid the face the shame and hatred that must be in his father's eyes after what he had done.

But Dean's utter lack of response just fuelled John's anger even more.

"I said look at me!" John yelled again, raising his hand to strike.

At that Dean's head lifted, allowing John to see the pools of fear and hurt that resided deep within those strong emerald eyes. It grounded him like nothing else in the world would have, making all the blinding rage slip away. When he realized what he had been about to do he instantly lowered his hand and took a step back, realising Dean from the car.

Dean on the other hand didn't expect his father's swift retreat and stumbled, his feet buckling underneath him. John's hands were back on him instantly, making sure he didn't do a third face planting But the touch wasn't harsh and punishing like the last time, this was comforting, almost loving. "Whoa there son, take it easy. Let's get you seated again, okay kiddo?"

Dean nodded, letting his dad guide him over to the Impala. He sagged into the worm seat, the soft leather moulding itself to him as if it was welcoming him home. Being in her again brought back a feeling of safety, a feeling of belonging. He had liked the Ford, but this was his true home. A sigh of relief escaping his lips as he let himself soak in the atmosphere for a few sacred moments before returning his gaze to his father.

As their eyes met a second time, John almost gasped. Dean's walls were down, torn asunder by heartbreak and exhaustion, exposing his soul to the world through those two pools of emerald green. They spoke of all that had happened since he left, all the pain, fear, hurt, deceit and defeat he had suffered through. But still, hidden deep within, there was a small spark of hope and determination. Faithfull to his last breath, he would never give up on Sam, no matter what his little brother did. John could also see the trust in those green eyes, the trust in him, that he would find Sam and save the day. John didn't feel neither him nor Sam was worthy of that praise right now after the way they'd treated him.

This time it was John who couldn't meet Dean's face, his eyes roaming to the rest of Dean instead. He was struck with even more shame at the story the picture before him painted. Dean was pale, deep bruises under his eyes marring his face. His freckles, usually barely visible, now stood out on his face. His spiky hair now standing in all directions, just an unwashed mess on the top of his head. His usual handsome features were gaunt and slack, bone almost protruding in some places. Not only did he look utterly exhausted, probably not having had a decent nights sleep since Sam left, but his clothes were also hanging off his body. Apparently food hadn't been one of his top priorities either.

It was apparent to John that Dean had used all his energy for his search for Sam, depleting all energy reserves as well. John was amazed he hadn't just collapsed from the way he looked. The ingrained responsibly to keep Sam safe and the need to find him clearly the only thing that was keeping his boy on his feet. Any other kid would have given in for sure, but Dean was a Winchester, and a strong one at that, stubborn and will fast till the very end.

He wanted nothing more than to hug him tight and tell him everything would be all right. But he couldn't. Even though he hated it, Sam had to be his top priority, at least until he knew he was all right. He sighed and crouched down in front of Dean to begin the inevitable interrogation, hoping to make it short so that he could lie down before he fell down.

Dean relayed the entire list of events that had unfolded since his father left, omitting nothing. John was mostly quiet throughout the retelling, just prompting sometimes if he needed more information or when his boy seemed to almost fall asleep. He was already halfway asleep as he relayed the end of his story, recounted perfectly as his father had thought him, somehow still managing to speak and sit up.

John reached out to his son, starting to guide him to lie down on the seat. But Dean resisted with a surprising strength, managing to fend John's arms of. "No, need to find Sam, can't…lie down…find Sam…" Dean almost pleaded.

"I know, but you won't be any good to me collapsed on the floor. Just lay back and rest before you fall down." John commanded, hoping he would see reason.

Dean stopped his struggling, his body instantly obeying the order, allowing his achy bones to be guided to the black seat. His father was right. He would only slow his father down, besides it wasn't as if he had found Sam in all this time, why would he be any better tonight. He had been going on fumes alone for too long, and now that his dad was here he felt safe, finally able to lower his guard again. And with that feeling and overwhelming exhaustion followed, encompassing him in a blanket of sleep."Dad was here, he would find Sam" the last thought Dean had before letting the darkness envelop him.

John was left sitting there, watching his son, his own mind shamed of what he had done. Seeing how hard this was on Dean he wished even more that Mary still was alive and that he didn't have to leave them all the time, or worse be their drill sergeant. He longed to just be their daddy, the daddy of years past, the one Sam had almost never met and Dean could barely remember. But it wasn't to be. That yellow eyed son of a bitch had made sure of that. Faced with the evils he had seen every day he had known there was no turning back from this life, no turning the blind eye to it. Once one was exposed to it, it was for life. That's why he couldn't be their daddy anymore. He needed to prepare them for a life of darkness and danger. Teaching them how to fight, hunt and most importantly, survive. If that meant that he would have to their drill sergeant instead of their father, so be it. He would endure it, as long as it kept his boys safe.

The only thing he really regretted in all this was the toll it was taken on Dean, his sweet young golden haired boy. Not only had Dean been forced to take care of Sammy all his life, but he had also had to care take care of his own father, somehow forgetting himself in the midst of it. It still amazed John to think how young Dean still was, having been thinking of him as an adult for far longer then he would have wished. The kid who never really was a kid after his fourth year. John sighed at the though. That was the past, there was nothing he could do about it anymore, all he could do know was to keep preparing him for what was to come.

He wished he could give the boy a break, go soft on him. But he knew he couldn't. He had seen how Dean sheltered and protected Sam, even dotted him. The results of that was clear before him. A half dead Dean and a missing Sam, all just to avoid exposing Sam to his anger. No he had to be firm with him, couldn't allow Dean the freedom Dean had granted Sam. Keeping them safe from harm was all depending on him punishing them after stunts like this. No matter how much he hated it.

While Dean slept, John went through Dean's movements and research, mapping it all out. If he was honest with himself it was becoming increasingly clear to him that Dean had done a damn good job of searching for Sam, probably even better than he would have done himself. Dean's knowledge of everything Sam allowing him to get the extra edge. Just too bad the only ting Sam had decided to really learn was how to stay hidden. But despite this, with Dean's search pattern it would only have been a matter of time, and a short one at that, before he would have been found. Whether Dean would have survived that long, was a whole different matter, one that he preferably wouldn't dwell on. The other question would of course have been that if Dean did find Sam, healthy and living the time of his life, would he have had the heart to bring him back? He doubted it

He watched Dean for a moment, him and the Impala almost melding together. It was a strange relationship, the one between his son and his Impala. But John allowed it. Dean had so few things for himself, the Impala the closest thing he had to a home. Hell he had even been born in it, probably even conceived in it when John thought back. One could say the immense attraction Dean had for her had started even before birth. And as strange as it seemed, it almost seemed to be reciprocated, the car somehow seeming to run impossibly smoother under Dean's guidance then under anyone's else's, even his own, and he had been driving her for way longer then Dean ever had. So he allowed it, all the while knowing that he would one day hand her over to Dean, knowing he would care for the old dame like no one else would.

* * *

Two hours later John was unsurprised when he heard a moan from Dean's bed as he already had been tossing and turning for the last 15 minutes. Nightmare, undoubtedly about Sam. His fear for his kid brother so deep seated that even utter exhaustion couldn't keep it at bay. Worried, John went to him.

Dean was drenched in sweat, sheets twisted around his ankles, a pained look on his face. His eyes were moving rapidly underneath closed eyelids, small gasps escaping his parted lips as slight shivers wracked his frame. John reached out to wake him, but stayed his hand, instead stepping away from his son.

He would leave him be, hoping the nightmare would pass and healing sleep once more take over. Even though he hated to leave his son in any form for pain, it was for the best. Dean needed rest, even bad rest was better than no rest. But what he really needed was Sam. If he woke him now he would no doubt insist on helping. But John couldn't let that happen.

No, he needed to heal. Trouble was that the only thing that could really help him was finding Sam, so that was what he intended to do. From what he could gleam from Dean's research it wouldn't take him long either. Hopefully by the time Dean woke up he would have Sam safe and sound beside him. "Don't worry boy, I'll bring him back to you, just rest" he whispered before ghosting his hand through Dean's hair. He quickly scribbled a note saying that he was going out to find Sam. He gave his sleeping son one last look before he slipped into the old Ford and sped away, leaving Dean to rest safely back in the bosom of the Impala, hoping she would be enough to comfort the him.

Dean startled awake, unsure of what had woken him. Yet another nightmare probably. He looked around bleary eyed, hoping his dad hadn't noticed his break down, but it was too dark to see anything. As he waited for his eyes to adjust he gathered his senses. He was still in the car, same place as he had fallen asleep, and from what he could discern from the surroundings outside of the car, she hadn't moved either. The fact that it was now dark outside meant that he had at least slept for two or three hours, maybe more. It that was a good or a bad thing was yet to be determined.

As his eyes adjusted to the gloom he searched for his father, the car clearly empty. He opened the door to step outside but the bright light from inside of the car blinded his sensitive eyes. He shied away from it, instead focusing his eyes outwards.

Standing up his stiff body made itself known. More than anything he just wanted to curl up in a ball and give up, but he couldn't, not when Sam and dad were out there, unprotected.

Outside the cold chill quickly surrounded him, causing him to shiver. He pulled his jacket tighter around him to ward of the cold as he looked around. But all he found was a pressing silence, no sign of his dad anywhere. That's when he noticed the note, sitting neatly on the dashboard of the car. Dad had left him behind, not even bothering to wake him to tell him he was leaving. And with him the feeling of safety had disappeared, dragging him out from his slumber. He stood there forlornly, note in his hand. Apparently he wasn't good enough for anything, not even in helping finding Sam.

He hung his head, quiet sobs escaping his lips as slid down too the ground, his back hugging the Impala.

* * *

Next one, the Sam and John confrontation!


	7. The confrontation

As promised, Sam is finally found, by no one other than John. Fight ensues...

* * *

The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving the world to darkness. An ice-cold wind leaving the streets almost barren. But John still hadn't found Sam. Still, he kept on searching, not wanting to return to Dean empty handed. Ha had already let the boy down enough for one evening..

His thoughts were disturbed as he heard a dog yipping happily from the woods. Curious, John followed the sound. As he walked through the trees, he detected small tracks on the path, they were light and muddled with others, but defiantly kid sized. Hope flared and he sped up.

He halfway couldn't believe his eyes, he had finally done it, he had actually found Sam. Screw that it had been dumb luck, the important thing was that he had finally found his son. Relived, he stopped a few meters from the trailer to study him, Sam clearly visible through the foliage. From what he could see Sam was healthy, no signs of neglect or injury. Heck, he even looked happy!

His relief of having found Sam safe and sound, was soon overshadowed by his anger. Here Sam was off having the time of his life, playing fetch with and old fleabag, while Dean and him were worrying themselves half to death. It didn't sit right with him that Sam, the runaway, looked a millions times better than Dean did. Sam could at least have the decency to look a little bit homesick. No, Sam was coming home now, even if that meant he would have to drag him back by the scruff of the neck and lock him up. Playtime was over.

With sure steps he walked out into the clearing, heading directly for Sam. Bones, sensing his presence, emitted a low growl from deep within his throat. Sam spun around on his heals, body ready for fight. But the sight of a furious John moving towards him stopped him dead in his tracks. This wasn't supposed to happen. Dad wasn't even supposed to be home for another half a week! Dean must have rated him out.

"Samuel Winchester. Get over here this instant" John shouted at his youngest.

Sam didn't move, instead putting up an attitude of defiance. He liked it here, he didn't want to go back yet. But apparently John had another understanding. He barged forward, seizing Sam by the arm and starting to forcefully drag him back to the car. Bones had another opinion on the matter though, his growling intensifying, body ready to attack.

Wary of the dog, John paused, his rage growing even more at the annoying hindrance before him. "Son, I swear to God if you don't make that dog back off I'll shot him right in the head!"

Sam stopped struggling, his eyes seeking his father. He gulped when they met. His father wasn't joking, he would actually kill Bones if Sam didn't do anything. Not prepared to back down yet, he tried to reason with his father. "He's not dangerous, he's only trying to protect me."

"I'm your father, you don't need protection from me!"

Sam stamped his feet, still refusing to let it go "Well, he doesn't know that, and by the way you're acting I might actually need protection. He's my friend and if I'm leaving he's coming too!"

John turned, towering over him menacingly. "You have no right to give me orders, you snot nosed little brat after what you did!"

"What I did? What about you? You're the one who is always forcing us to move around, taking us away from our friends. You're the one who is forcing us into this stupid life, into this never ending hunt. We would both be happy if it weren't for you!"

At that, John saw red, through arguing with his 10-year old brat who thought he ruled the world. "Well then I suggest you tell him that that's not going to happen because the next move he takes toward me wardens a death sentence," He said coldly, knowing Sam would back down if he thought that was the only way to save the dog, his so called "friend"

But his plan backfired. Instead of making him surrender, it turned him into a wild animal, struggling for all he was worth. "No! You can't, he's my friend! Leave him be!" John had to strengthen his grip to keep in order to keep a hold of him, his force leaving bruises on Sam's body. "Well then, I guess you better say your goodbyes cause we're leaving. Now!"

"No, I wont, I won't go! I want to stay here, with Bones!"

"Oh how cute, not only did you name this fleabag of a dog, but you also think you have the authority to make decisions in this family. Last I checked I was the father and you my kid. So I suggest you shut up and come with me."

"Please! I can't leave him, he won't survive without me" Sam snivelled, on the verge of giving up.

"Not my problem kid, you made it yours when you left, but now that you're returning home, that's redundant. The dog will no doubt be fine without you, finding another unsuspected human to mulch on"

"No, he won't! You're just evil! I never want to go come back home!" Sam yelled, his anger renewed.

Having had enough, John lifted Sam of the ground, ignoring the growling dog as he walked towards the car. Sam struggled to get free, but John's strength was just too great for his lesser muscles to overcome. He had lost.

John forced Sam into the backseat. "And don't you dare move from that spot or there will be consequences. And they won't be pretty"

"I hate you, and I hate Dean," Sam sulked.

John spun around, his anger flaring again, his face right up in Sam's. "You can hate me all you want, but don't you dare blame anything on Dean! This is wholly your own mess!"

"Why? Because I ran? If he hadn't ratted me out you wouldn't even have known as you're never home. And by the time it took you to get here I'm sure Dean was too busy enjoying his own freedom then to think of calling you. He probably didn't even notice I was gone," Sam sneered.

"Oh, we noticed all right! And for your information Dean never said a word to me, protecting you to the very end, so not one cross word to him or I'll have your hide."

Surprised by John's outburst, Sam was at loss for words.

"But he should have called me, and I'm going to make damn sure that if this ever happens again that he will, no matter what it takes. By the time I'm done with him I'm pretty sure he won't ever dare to let you out of his sight, so you can kiss your so called freedom goodbye. No more dreaming about freebees and running away, your golden chance has passed." John thundered before he slammed the door in Sam's face.

Sam turned away from John, too angry to speak. Why of all the families he could have been born in to did he have to land in this one? It wasn't fair. All he wanted was to be normal. A normal kid, doing normal kid stuff. Was that too much to ask?

He turned to gaze out the back window as John sped away. Bones was sitting at the side of the road, all lonesome again. Sam offered him a small wave and a silent goodbye. He prayed that someone would care of the dog and take him in, the only thing left he had to offer his friend. The sight only helped solidify how much he hated this life. One day he would get away from it all, one day he promised himself.

Dean's head shot up as the blue Ford sidled up next to the Impale. _Dad was back!_ Dean virtually leapt from the car, anxious to see if he had brought Sam back. He's knees almost buckled at the relief flowing through his body. Sam was back, unharmed. He wanted to run up and enclose Sam in the biggest bear hug ever, never letting him go again. But from Dad's and Sam's faces that wouldn't be welcome. So he stood his ground, awaiting the next move.

Still angry Sam stalked past Dean and settled in the backseat of the Impala, not offering his brother a glance. John sighed. How could one hunting trip turn out so wrong when his kids weren't even with him? Resigned, he walked over to the driver side of the Impala, giving a slight nod of his head to indicate the passenger seat for Dean.

Dean looked bewildered. "What about the Ford, shouldn't I drive it back to were it was before I borrowed it so it won't be reported stolen?"

What Dean proposed was indeed the best solution when it came to car and the police. But in real life, it wasn't. With the state Dean was in now he wouldn't even make it past the city limits before he fell asleep maybe even totalling the car instead of bringing it back. No, the passenger seat was the best place for Dean at the moment, no doubt. "We'll just leave it. We'll be long gone by the time anyone finds it anyhow. Just get in the car so we can leave this ugly town in the dust."

Dean obeyed silently, letting his gaze sweep over Sam in the back seat. Sam was sulking, clearly mad from being found. But except from that and a greasy head and a bit of a stale smell Sam looked fine, might even say good.

The car ride back to Charleston was silent, John opting to keep the radio off so that Dean could sleep. Sleep had overtaken Dean almost as soon as the car had started, the purr of the engine lulling him to sleep. A healing and nightmare free sleep this time around with himself and his family once more back together and safely ensconced within the familiar confines of the Impala.

* * *

Next ones the final chappie!


	8. Together

As they pulled up to the apartment John turned towards Sam. "Help me gather up the rest of the belongings in the apartment," he said calmly, his anger having evaporated during the long drive

Sam on the other hand, was still fuming. "Why do I have to do it? Most of it is Dean's stuff anyway. Mine's mostly in my backpack. Take Dean with you."

"No Sam, you're helping. Firstly, because Dean is tired and needs the sleep."

Sam spared a glance for Dean. He somehow managed to look tired, even though he was already sleeping. _Wonder why?_

"Secondly, because there is something you need to see."

At the last sentence he finally met John's gaze, his curiosity intrigued. "What do I need to see?"

"Come with and you'll see," John said as he exited the car.

His curiosity won out and he followed his father to the door. He brought up his key to unlock the door, but John stayed his hand. "It's open."

Sam gave him a bewildered look before pushing on the door. _Why didn't Dean lock it? He was usually really stern about that stuff_. He moved to take a step in, but his foot froze midway at the sight of the overturned apartment. _What the hell had happened here? Had Dean gotten robbed or something? _He sent a worried glance towards his sleeping brother in the car before stepping inside.

The place was still in the state Dean had left it, John not seeing the point in cleaning up as they were leaving anyhow. The only reason he had gone back at all was to gather the stuff the boys had left behind. Dean hadn't exactly been in the best of mind sets when leaving. Something the room spoke volumes about.

"What happened? Did a thief do this?" Sam asked confused.

"No, Dean did"

"Dean?" That just made Sam even more confused. "Why would Dean do this?"

"Why do you think brainac? He turned this place upside down searching for you. He hasn't even been here for ages," John answered. But if he was honest with himself he would rather tell Sam about how searching for Sam had almost sent his brother to the hospital, how the realisation that Sam had run away, not just from this life, but from his own big brother as well had killed Dean even more. He wanted to tell him everything he had just barely glimpsed in Deans eyes, how scared he had been, how he had almost given up without Sam there. But he wouldn't. It wasn't his place to tell. Dean would tell him if he wished. But odds were he wouldn't, instead sheltering Sam as he always did.

Sam was silent, for once not knowing what to say. Dean hadn't just been enjoying himself. He had actually searched for him.

John left him be and continued collecting their stuff. Sam was useless on that front, still walking around in a daze, eyes roaming the messed up apartment. He stopped at the table in front of the TV. The only untouched thing in the whole place. There, spread out on the table were all his favourite movies, all laid out in a row. Boxes and bags of what once had been food, his favourite foods were also placed on the table in a neat pile in the middle. Dean had done this. For him.

Forgetting all about his father he turned on his heals and ran out the door.

John let him go, knowing he wasn't running anywhere further than Dean. He hoped the sight of the apartment had made it sink in how bad this experience had been for both him and Dean. But he doubted it. Knowing Dean, he would probably downplay it, always the protector, even at the times when his charge didn't deserve it.

Because of this he needed to be harder on Dean. If Dean was determined to keep Sam as an innocent naïve child, he couldn't afford Dean not being able to handle what came their way. He needed to harden him, prepare him to handle a situation like this if it ever were to happen again. If it was creature activity, kidnapping or just plain running away, he needed Dean on top of his game, not just running himself to the ground. He needed Dean to be tougher, faster, smarter, better at everything if he was going to be able to protect himself and his brother. So if Dean was determined to shelter Sam, Dean would have to pick up the slack. Cause survival came before anything, even love.

Sam paused by the car. Sure it had been two of the greatest weeks in his life, but maybe leaving his family without word of what happened or why hadn't been the best way to go about it. His brother didn't deserve that, he needed to apologize.

He stared at his big brother through the car window. He was resting his head against it, his body halfway curled up on the seat. He looked relaxed, even signs of a smile around his mouth. Probably having one of the secret dreams dad wasn't allowed too hear about. Sam had asked about them once, and regretted it ever since, the horrid images Dean had painted still stuck in his memory. How Dean found sex dreams fun, let alone doing it in real life, was beyond him. Dean said he would understand when he got older, he wasn't yet convinced of that. Even if the two weeks weren't all that good for Dean, it apparently couldn't have been too bad either if he lay there smiling he thought.

What Sam's young eyes didn't detect though was the paleness of Dean's skin, the heavy bags under his eyes or the staunchness of his body. Sam only saw his strong big brother, the superhero.

Decided, he climbed into the car by the driver seat and started to rouse Dean by shaking him lightly while calling out his name.

Dean had been dreaming about his family, how they had once been a long time ago, when his mother was alive. He didn't want to wake, didn't want it to end. He was happy there, no monsters, no death, no one to disappoint. But someone was pulling him away from it, calling him back to the present. The present where there was danger, hurt and abandonment. Where Sam was missing. At that thought he shot awake, the urgency to find Sam ridding him of all sleepiness.

"Whoa Dean, you okay there bro?" Sam asked carefully, spooked by his brothers sudden reaction.

The sweet sound of his baby brother's voice brought his head around to meet Sam's shocked face. _Sam wasn't missing anymore, dad had found him, he was safe again_. His heart still beating a mile a minute he tried to act casual to cover up his moment of panic. "Hey there kiddo, what's up?" he asked while yawning and stretching. His voice thankfully steady, apparently succeeding in fooling Sam.

Sam bent his head to look up at Dean from under his bangs. _Bringing out the big guns I seems._ As puppy eyes galore was the menu of the day it had to be something Sam wanted from him, the question was just what? Not that it actually mattered, he would agree to it anyway, never able to turn down those sad eyes.

"Dean?"

Dean braced himself. _Here it comes._

"I'm sorry I ran, can you ever forgive me?" Sam asked softly.

Dean could never be mad at Sam for long, especially not when those puppy dog eyes came into play. Besides he was the big brother, the protector, who was he to take away Sam's happiness? So he buried the last two weeks worth of pain and fears deep inside and slapped on a fake smile for Sam. Sam too young to see the difference smiled back expectantly.

"Sure, kiddo, I'll forgive you. Just promise me one thing okay?"

Sam nodded enthusiastically, practically willing to agree to anything to make it ok between them again.

"Don't ever run away from me again?" Dean asked softly, hoping with all his heart that his brother would agree

"I promise," Sam answered solemnly.

"Thanks," Dean said as he dragged Sam into the giant bear hug he had wanted to give him ever since he first got back. Sam was taken by surprise by his brother's unusual show of feelings. But as soon as the initial shock was over he hugged his brother back wholeheartedly, melding into his strong, warm arms.

In truth, he was glad to be back in his brother arms, it hadn't been the same without him. And now that Dean had asked him to stay, he would, for Dean and Dean alone. That was one promise he intended to keep.

And he did, for at least eight more years, till college came knocking on his door…

* * *

So that's my thought of what might have happened. Be sure to let me know what you think :)

PS: not completely certain when Sam started college - Superwiki said 18/19 so went with that.


End file.
